Anxiety and fear ... am I over-reacting?
My wife and I have been trying for nearly 18 months and I am terrified that we will never get pregnant. My wife has PCOS and we are now seeing our 2nd fertility specialist (the 1st was useless and judgmental). My semen has been tested 3 times (twice last year and once this year) and the results have been almost the same every time. My count and motility are well within the normal ranges, but my abnormal forms are significantly higher than normal. For reference, my lab measures abnormal forms on a scale between 0 - 18, with higher scores being better than lower. Normal is considered 4 or greater. My first two tests were 3 and my most recent test was 2.
Since only this one level is outside of normal, I figure my chances of getting my wife pregnant are probably pretty good. But my anxiety is still through the roof. I am diabetic (type 2) and will turn 40 this year, and can't seem to shake the feeling that my window to become a father is rapidly running out. I constantly ask myself if I will even be physically capable of raising a child should we be lucky enough to eventually get pregnant? I can't help feeling like my sperm and I are just not good enough.