Soon 30 and no baby
 
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Soon 30 and no baby  

 

Not sure if this is the right place for this, but I'll go ahead. Back in the days, I had a plan that I'll have at least one baby by the time I turn 30, and now that I am close to turning the big 3.0., I am nowhere near having a baby. I am in a new relationship, and I don't think me and my partner are ready for that step together. On top of that, while I know for sure I want a baby, it's not like I am feeling it has to happen now. BUT - lately, fertility and having a baby has become such a big part of everyday life. Everyone around me is having babies, and even the girlfriends that don't have babies yet, worry and talk about this invisible ticking clock. I can't help but feel both an external pressure (hey comparison trap, what's up), but also a rational/objective pressure as I know my fertility deteriorates by the day. How can I balance feeling this pressure that makes me constantly think about having a baby with the fact that I am not in a place in my life where I have the circumstances to have a baby? I am not one to easily go with the flow, and let things happen. I am more of a guidelines/planning person and I have no idea how to approach this. Anyone who's been through something similar and has good advice?

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Topic starter Posted : 13/11/2020 9:59 am
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Hi

First of all, I think that you are not alone with those thoughts... To me, it seems kind of unfair that men can wait almost as long as they want (?) and women have to stress about it because the egg quality diminishes so fast. I think you shouldn't stress too much if you are still in your 20'es. From what I know, the critical age is 35. One of my friends has considered freezing her eggs to have time to pursue her career. Maybe that could be an option for you? 🙏

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Posted : 18/11/2020 7:38 am
 alex

Hi there,

I understand the feeling of pressure that you describe, but I really don't think you need to worry yet. You've got time my dear! ❤️ But if you cannot stop worrying it might be a good solution for you to freeze some of your eggs as Baby-wish suggests. 

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Posted : 19/11/2020 11:46 am

@baby-wish yes that definitely is an option, and the planner in me already feels calmer by reading this. 🤣 Definitely something I will consider for the near future. Do you know if it's expensive (and painful - ouch)? 

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Topic starter Posted : 25/11/2020 3:08 pm

I actually don't know if it is painful and/or expensive... I wouldn't worry too much about pain though. You do it for your future family, and I think nothing would be too painful for that. But that's just my personal opinion. Try to make a search for egg freezing - I think there are several options at least in the US 🙂 

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Posted : 27/11/2020 7:51 am