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Mixed emotions I don’t know how I feel, freezing my eggs… am I being for real?

It was something I didn’t really think about, the older I got the more I’d doubt. 

I always told myself I was going to be fine, was putting my career first really a crime?

I stare into space try figure out the pain, wipe away my tears as I feel ashamed. 

I listen to music try not to go insane, avoiding eye contact with everyone on the train. 

 

Why didn’t I follow the rules and play the game, maybe then I’d have no one to blame?

I could have relied on a man and had it all, drive his car and drop our kids off to school.

The truth is my career never came first; it was always there for me when I was hurt. 

 

Today I’m present and it’s a strange day, this was a game I didn’t want to play. 

Scans and appointments, injection galore, pumping my body till it gets sore.

I have no idea the pain this will bring or how many alarm bells this will ring. 

Multi cycle treatment to build up my reserve, preparing for the future I deserve.

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Topic starter Posted : 18/09/2021 3:14 pm