How to cope with miscarriages?
Hi all. My boyfriend and I have been trying to conceive for about a year now. From the very beginning, I was afraid something would go wrong, and that we wouldn’t succeed in this “project baby”. My friends and family said that I should stop stressing, but now, 2 miscarriages later, my hopes are extremely low, and I can’t think about anything else than not being able to become and keep being pregnant. My boyfriend and I have very different ways of coping with this, and it is hard on our relationship. He wants to shift focus and start looking for a house, "so we are prepared when a baby arrives", but all I can think about is what we would do in a big house if we never have kids.
Does anyone have any similar experiences, suggestions or recommendations regarding how to cope with this – for myself but as a couple as well?
From the pessimistic one
It really sounds like you are going through a hard time. I haven't tried for as long as you, but I have also heard from friends that I should just relax and not stress. I think that its really hard to do because obviously you will think a lot about it all the time. Maybe - do you have any friends or family who have gone through something similar? Try reaching out to them? Or even find some Instagram profiles about fertility struggles. For me it helps to follow others so you don't feel so alone...
Keep my fingers crossed for a baby that sticks soon <3
First of all, I am very sorry to hear about the struggle you are going through. I have close friends who has gone through the same as you, so I know from their experience how difficult it can be. <3
All my friends succeed with pregnancy after a while so I am off cause tempted to just say “Don’t worry, you can try again. This will happen for you” but the grief you’re feeling is real and I think you have the right to grieve as much as you need. Do this in any way that helps you to heal but remember not to isolate yourself. I think it is really important to find someone to talk to whether it is a friend, a support forum online, family, a priest, bereavement group or a therapist.
But most importantly… Don’t lose hope. Hope sometimes appears naive but it isn’t. Hang on to hope and anticipation. I am sure you and your boyfriend will succeed. <3
I don't know if you've seen it, but Cryos sperm bank has a Facebook group that you can join. Maybe you can get some help and support there: https://www.facebook.com/groups/cryosinternational
We are trying to conceive too. Just to say that you are not alone! ❤️